Those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning know Cinco de Macho is the holiday of the year. This year, Macho went all out. He spared no expense. His clothes, hair, and attitude was perfect. He couldn't tell you what he did, but he can tell you whatever it was totally rocked.
This afternoon Macho stumbled home. His mother was furious. His father wanted to know where he had been. After being confronted by his parents he said, "Lets talk Tuesday," as he laid down in his bed. Hard to argue with that.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
More Snow Macho
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wild Macho
Macho sure is sorry he hasn't rapped at ya'll in a while. He's had a grueling calendar lately that hasn't let him update his fans. Most of his time has been eaten up by his new found desire to explore the unknown. He's been making frequent trips to the Russian wilderness to study the rare Siberian Snow Leopards. Shortly after this picture was taken, Macho wrestled down one such leopard while in full sprint. He painlessly rendered the beast unconscious, tagged her, and then used the smelling salts he was carrying to wake her up. He said he named her "Kuboroma," which is the Swahili word for snore. Now if we could only get him to learn how to sit.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Grandparenting Macho
It is very difficult for a grandparent not to like their grandchild. Very difficult. You can poop in their rented house. You can bite their legs while they try to put on their shoes. You can look bored when they read to you. You can look bored when they make you go wine tasting. All of these things will not stop the grandparents from loving you. Especially when you have a massive underbite.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Parking Macho
Macho didn't always like the park. Until recently Macho would get bored if the park was full of "ball dogs." You know the type, the uppity dogs whose only wish is to fetch it's master's balls. As you may have guessed, Macho is not a "ball dog."
Until recently, the "ball dogs" did not give Macho the time of day. When he would want to play, the "ball dogs" would just growl at him. The "ball dogs" dismissed Macho as weak for not sharing in their "ball dog" games. Big mistake.
Macho has now developed the habit of waiting for a "ball dog" to secure the ball, then sprint towards the "ball dog," and launch himself at the "ball dog" like a NFL linebacker on PCP. The force of the collision is fierce. Ball is dislodged from "ball dog." "Ball dog" gets up startled. Macho calmly continues his business, which does not include picking up the ball.
To the left, you can see Macho's disappointment when he sees some "ball dogs" coming to the park just as its time to leave. After this picture, Macho told me that, "those "ball dogs" got some bark, but not much bite." I'm guessing you'll meet a lot of dogs like that Macho.
Until recently, the "ball dogs" did not give Macho the time of day. When he would want to play, the "ball dogs" would just growl at him. The "ball dogs" dismissed Macho as weak for not sharing in their "ball dog" games. Big mistake.
Macho has now developed the habit of waiting for a "ball dog" to secure the ball, then sprint towards the "ball dog," and launch himself at the "ball dog" like a NFL linebacker on PCP. The force of the collision is fierce. Ball is dislodged from "ball dog." "Ball dog" gets up startled. Macho calmly continues his business, which does not include picking up the ball.
To the left, you can see Macho's disappointment when he sees some "ball dogs" coming to the park just as its time to leave. After this picture, Macho told me that, "those "ball dogs" got some bark, but not much bite." I'm guessing you'll meet a lot of dogs like that Macho.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Six Month Macho
Macho turned six months (42 months in people time) old on Sunday. You can see how much he's grown in the time we've had him.
We had a little party for him. The party was a "Back to the Future" themed party. Macho dressed up like Biff Tanner and kept saying, "MCFLY....HELLO!!!" It got kinda old after an hour or so.
Anyway I asked Macho if he was into "Back to the Future" because he was suffering from a little childhood nostalgia now that he's becoming a big boy. He told me to, "Make like a tree and leave." He was so much sweeter when he was a baby.
We had a little party for him. The party was a "Back to the Future" themed party. Macho dressed up like Biff Tanner and kept saying, "MCFLY....HELLO!!!" It got kinda old after an hour or so.
Anyway I asked Macho if he was into "Back to the Future" because he was suffering from a little childhood nostalgia now that he's becoming a big boy. He told me to, "Make like a tree and leave." He was so much sweeter when he was a baby.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Neutered Macho
Macho: What the hell!!! I wouldn't wish what you did to me on my worst enemy. I can't believe you did that.
Me: Ok, I'm sorry you're upset, but this was the right decision. You're Mom and I decided that we don't want you having puppies with any random dogs. Its a city, you could get diseases.
Macho: Great, thanks for that. Next time I'm in the park with my buddies, I'll tell them I have no nuts because my parents don't want me to get diseases. That won't get me humped.
Me: Now you're being dramatic. Its really not a big deal. This happens to dogs all the time and you are a dog. Get used to it.
Macho: Yeah, I'm a dog with no nuts who got betrayed by his Dad. What Dad would cut his own son's balls off? That's old testament stuff right there.
Me: .....
Me: Ok, I'm sorry you're upset, but this was the right decision. You're Mom and I decided that we don't want you having puppies with any random dogs. Its a city, you could get diseases.
Macho: Great, thanks for that. Next time I'm in the park with my buddies, I'll tell them I have no nuts because my parents don't want me to get diseases. That won't get me humped.
Me: Now you're being dramatic. Its really not a big deal. This happens to dogs all the time and you are a dog. Get used to it.
Macho: Yeah, I'm a dog with no nuts who got betrayed by his Dad. What Dad would cut his own son's balls off? That's old testament stuff right there.
Me: .....
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