Grandparenting Macho

It is very difficult for a grandparent not to like their grandchild. Very difficult. You can poop in their rented house. You can bite their legs while they try to put on their shoes. You can look bored when they read to you. You can look bored when they make you go wine tasting. All of these things will not stop the grandparents from loving you. Especially when you have a massive underbite.

Parking Macho

Macho didn't always like the park. Until recently Macho would get bored if the park was full of "ball dogs." You know the type, the uppity dogs whose only wish is to fetch it's master's balls. As you may have guessed, Macho is not a "ball dog."

Until recently, the "ball dogs" did not give Macho the time of day. When he would want to play, the "ball dogs" would just growl at him. The "ball dogs" dismissed Macho as weak for not sharing in their "ball dog" games. Big mistake.

Macho has now developed the habit of waiting for a "ball dog" to secure the ball, then sprint towards the "ball dog," and launch himself at the "ball dog" like a NFL linebacker on PCP. The force of the collision is fierce. Ball is dislodged from "ball dog." "Ball dog" gets up startled. Macho calmly continues his business, which does not include picking up the ball.

To the left, you can see Macho's disappointment when he sees some "ball dogs" coming to the park just as its time to leave. After this picture, Macho told me that, "those "ball dogs" got some bark, but not much bite." I'm guessing you'll meet a lot of dogs like that Macho.

Six Month Macho

Macho turned six months (42 months in people time) old on Sunday. You can see how much he's grown in the time we've had him.

We had a little party for him. The party was a "Back to the Future" themed party. Macho dressed up like Biff Tanner and kept saying, "MCFLY....HELLO!!!" It got kinda old after an hour or so.

Anyway I asked Macho if he was into "Back to the Future" because he was suffering from a little childhood nostalgia now that he's becoming a big boy. He told me to, "Make like a tree and leave." He was so much sweeter when he was a baby.

Neutered Macho

Macho: What the hell!!! I wouldn't wish what you did to me on my worst enemy. I can't believe you did that.

Me: Ok, I'm sorry you're upset, but this was the right decision. You're Mom and I decided that we don't want you having puppies with any random dogs. Its a city, you could get diseases.

Macho: Great, thanks for that. Next time I'm in the park with my buddies, I'll tell them I have no nuts because my parents don't want me to get diseases. That won't get me humped.

Me: Now you're being dramatic. Its really not a big deal. This happens to dogs all the time and you are a dog. Get used to it.

Macho: Yeah, I'm a dog with no nuts who got betrayed by his Dad. What Dad would cut his own son's balls off? That's old testament stuff right there.

Me: .....

New World Order

Brother's fight. That's part of the deal. Macho has now started becoming more aggressive with his adopted brother Hank. As Macho has become more assertive, Hank has taken issue. His efforts to control Macho through his strict sense of German discipline have failed. As you can see, Macho exposed Hank's wig pontytail and non-Asian heritage. There is a new world order on De Haro St.

Magnum Macho

Sorry its been a while since I rapped at ya'll. Things here with Macho have been wild. As you can see to the left Macho got his first car. Its a 2008 Dodge Magnum, the crown jewel of American automotive engineering. As a parent you are nervous when your dog starts driving but you hope the lessons in the parking lot pay off. Macho's problem, as you may have guessed, is fast driving and deep bass. Last week I found a pink spiked collar and an empty bottle of Courvoisier in the Magnum. When pressed about it Macho said, "Well what did you think was gonna happen when you give Macho Man a Magnum." Touche Macho.

Macho Ladies

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but Macho's been really bummed out. The cold San Francisco summers are just dragging him down. He had to get out of town to get away from his crazy city life. He needed to just slow down and enjoy life.

This weekend Macho snuck out of the city to his country house for some clean, country, living. Macho laid by the pool, drank some beers, and shocked everyone with his bocce ball skills. There are few guarantees in life, but Macho will whoop your ass at bocce. Believe that.