Macho didn't always like the park. Until recently Macho would get bored if the park was full of "ball dogs." You know the type, the uppity dogs whose only wish is to fetch it's master's balls. As you may have guessed, Macho is not a "ball dog."
Macho turned six months (42 months in people time) old on Sunday. You can see how much he's grown in the time we've had him.
Macho: What the hell!!! I wouldn't wish what you did to me on my worst enemy. I can't believe you did that.
Sorry its been a while since I rapped at ya'll. Things here with Macho have been wild. As you can see to the left Macho got his first car. Its a 2008 Dodge Magnum, the crown jewel of American automotive engineering. As a parent you are nervous when your dog starts driving but you hope the lessons in the parking lot pay off. Macho's problem, as you may have guessed, is fast driving and deep bass. Last week I found a pink spiked collar and an empty bottle of Courvoisier in the Magnum. When pressed about it Macho said, "Well what did you think was gonna happen when you give Macho Man a Magnum." Touche Macho.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but Macho's been really bummed out. The cold San Francisco summers are just dragging him down. He had to get out of town to get away from his crazy city life. He needed to just slow down and enjoy life.
Macho is a ladies man. We are not sure who he got this from as his dad is clearly not a ladies man. Nevertheless, Macho already has several girlfriends. He expresses his affection through a semi-humping motion typically on the leg or arm. To the left you can see Macho in a lighter moment with Jane, his "steady." Don't mention to Jane's mother that she is dating a dog. Apparently she thinks Macho is too young to be dating.
Come on in.....The problem with a puppy on the mend is this: he's too "sick" to go outside for a walk or puppy class, but not sick enough to bite the ever living crap out of you. This means that when Macho's dad comes home from work, Macho lets loose about 4 hours of energy from being cooped up in his crate. This results in pain, lots of pain. Macho has put about 18 holes in his dad's feet, ankles, hands, arms, and face. In fact, at work today one of Macho's dad's colleges asked what happened to his face. To which he replied, "Macho bite." Trouble comes in many forms, but in my neighborhood it only comes in Macho.
I hope everyone will be pleased that Macho appears to be on the mend. He's started eating again and continues to pee despite not drinking. His energy level is back to normal levels, which is not very good news for our suit pants and ankles. All and all we're very happy to have our little man out of the woods. Hank, however, is becoming jealous of all the attention Macho has been getting. Hank could be taking a swan dive off our roof soon.
Today Macho made his debut at our local dog park. If Macho is anything, he is totally stoked to meet new dogs and people. However, Macho is severly lacking in self awareness. For example, to the left you can see Macho attempting to tussle with a chow-husky mix named Dodo (agreed, unfortunate name). Macho did not seem aware of the fact that he weighs about a fifth of Dodo, nor did that fact deter him from headbutting Dodo. Within minutes Macho got about four left jabs to face sending Macho tumbling backwards. Each time Macho got back up and persisted with the headbutting move. When your legs are that short I guess that's all you can do. Afterward, Macho told me, "Its not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog." Good boy Macho.
Our vet has told us that Macho has to socialize with other dogs unless we want him to be an outcast among his peers. Who knew that being a dog had such social pressures? Anyway, today Macho went to our friends Matt and Rachel's place to play with Sammy (pictured left). If Sammy humping Macho is a sign of friendship, then they got along swimmingly. Later they took naps. Despite the humping he took today, Macho seems very well adjusted. Thanks to Matt and Rachel for letting Sammy show Macho the ropes of K-9 behavior.
Macho has been fortunate to have numerous family and friends who have welcomed him to his new family by giving him chew toys. Macho would like to thank everyone who has given him a plastic mustache, squeeking mat, rope basketball, stuffed lamb, or meat filled rawhide. Macho's parents would also like to thank those same people for giving us a brief reprieve from Macho's foot/ankle chewing fetish. For real, thanks.
The English Bulldog's fascination with the bag dates back to Victorian England. Wealthy Brits would put their Bulldogs into their shopping bags and take them to the finest boutiques in England. In fact, the British designers of today, including Burberry, Thomas Pink, and Paul Smith, have said they draw inspiration from the Bulldog's stocky build and grace under pressure. You may be wondering, "Isn't British fashion distinguished by stripes, plaids, and big ugly ties? What does that have to do with the Bulldog?" Macho says, "Don't ask me. I know nothing of fashion. I'm here for the bag."
As anyone who has owned a puppy knows, they like to chew. A lot. Macho has been fortunate that friends and family have been generous enough to give him numerous different types of chew toys. Macho has stuffed basketballs, hard plastic balls, tennis balls, a frisbee, and a variety of heavy plastic do-dads. These do not interest Macho. His favorite chew toys are as follows:
Going to the vet is a necessary, but often times unwelcome, part of any dog's life. Today, Macho returned to the vet to get his second round of shots. The Macho Man showed courage in the face of an 8 inch needle. The nurses (all female) said he didn't cry and that he was the cutest thing in the world. In other news, the world is still round.
Generally, Macho's day is action packed. It is filled with naps, crime fighting, pooping, and jazzercise. At the end of his day, he is understandably exhausted. This picture was taken after a particularly exhausting day of keeping San Francisco safe from criminal masterminds.
